Rudely Awoken Man
|Rudely Awoken Man|
Traditional Depiction of the Rudely Awoken Man
Prank Call Victim
early to-mid 20s
Rudely Awoken Man is a prank call victim who was discovered by KDK in August 2011. He was described by MistahBlonde as "a severely aggravated" Englishman "who was roused from his bed at 5:20am and went beserk."
The original call took place during the August 8th 2011 edition of KDK's "Lunatic Fringe" show, during the 2011 London Riots, with the victim being among those called by the prankster.
A victim soundboard was created by MistahBlonde, a fan of the series, and featured on his website but has been rarely used. This may be due to the fact that the victim's discovery took place on a forum other than Realm of Darkness or YouTube. Only two soundboard calls are known to exist: "Harassment of the Arctic Express" by MistahBlonde and the "British Embassy Calls" by WorldClassPrankster.
- "Put the phone down then you prick."
- "Yeah course I am."
- "Yeah, I don't fucking like YOU."
- "Yeah, ok."
- "Oh shaddup! What are you, you, .. stick to your target you thick Irish prick."
- "You're not a man. You're a silly old cunt."
- "No it's not. Look, listen mate it's 3 past 5 in the mornin'. Don't ring this number again .. alright?"
- "FUCK OFF this phone. You've got the wrong number and you're waking people up you CUNT."
- "Well I told you you got the wrong number and you kept caling me back didn't you?"
- "Listen, it's 5 .. 20 past five in the mornin' and this is the wrong number. So could you not dial it again? I don't know who you are."
- "Now I've got your number so now I'll be doin' it to you!"
- "Right, well .. who do you want to speak to?"
- "You've woke me up about six time you fucking..."
- "You're waking people up. Do you understand that?"
- "Yeah but now that I've got your number and you've done it. I keep telling ya' that and you've phoned me up over and over again. So don't worry because, uh, come tonight when I-I wanna wake you up, I'll just call you back and then you'll know what it's like."
- "And after that, don't worry, 'cause I'll phone you and wake you up."
- "And I'll, I'll do it to you all night, and all in the morning, and then you'll know what it's like."
- "Don't worry because it, don't worry about it because I-I-I'll just phone you up at all hours and I'll keep doing it like you've done to me. Because I ain't done nothing wrong and you just keep fucking phoning me up you silly cunt."
- "It's an 020 number .. don't worry you FUCKING prick because I'll tell you what. I'll FUCKING will phone BT. I've got your FUCKING number, right, anyway!"
- "Well don't worry about that 'cause I've got your phone number. You're phonin' up at 6 o'clock in the mornin' and I don't even know who you are. I keep telling ya' you've got the wrong number."
- "Don't worry because once you've sobered up I'm gonna start calling you all hours of the fucking night."
- "Oh, um, gimme the number and I'll call you back."
- "Well, well just give me the whole number."
- "Alright then, ummm, Oxford Circus."
- "Listen you prick, gimme your address!"
- "Right what's the address?"
- "What part of London you in?"
- "What time?"
- "What's the address?"
- "Yeah but it's 6 AM. Whereabouts are you at the moment?"
- "Yeah, w-w-w-what's the address that you're at the moment?"
- "You ain't even given me a proper address from the start."
- "'Cos I've told you that everytime you keep phonin' up!"
- "Listen to me you drunken old cunt, get off this FUCKING phone you FUCKING cunt! You've got the wrong number and you're waking people up you selfish old cunt! Otherwise, fucking tell me who you are and I'll come there and cut your FUCKING bollocks off!"
- "Listen mate..."
- "Listen to me you drunken old cunt..."
- "No, I'm fucking not! I keep telling ya' you've got the wrong number."
- "Now fuck off alright? Fuck off."
- "Oh fuck off you silly old cunt! If you don't like being threatened, don't phone up you prick! You got it?"
- "Oh yeah, course you will you stupid cunt! I've got your fucking number you prick!"
- "Oh yeah, right, of course you will you silly old cunt!"
- "Right, I've told you five times you woke me up!"
- "Well if you've got the right number then HOW COME there's nobody here that knows you?"
- "Are you stupid? You phoned me up you silly cunt!"
- "YES BECAUSE I'VE TOLD YOU THAT EVERY TIME AND YOU KEEP PHONING UP! YOU KEEP PHONING UP AND I KEEP TELLIN' YA, NO! IT'S THE WRONG NUMBER AND YOU KEEP PHONING UP!"
|August 8, 2011||Original call to Rudely Awoken Man||KDK||Rudely Awoken Man||Original call.|||
|September 3, 2011||Harassment of the Arctic Express||MistahBlonde||Female victims|||
- "The London Riot Show" at KDKprankcalls.com
- Harassment of The Yellers COMPLETE! + “Rudely Woken Man” Soundboard on MistahBlonde.com
- Harassment of the Arctic Express feat. Tony and KDK’s Rudely Awoken Man on MistahBlonde.com
- British Embassy Calls on WorldClassPrankster.com