Quotes of Rick the Mullet Man

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The following article is a compendium of quotes from Rick the Mullet Man (full name: Richard L. Moore), who, living near St. Louis, Missouri, roughly thirty miles to the south of the Jackass Plumber, was a victim of repeated harassment, by soundboards of several classic victims, to which his notorious responses grew angrier and more hostile as the calls progressed. The soundboards at large generated from his reactions are generally regarded as extremely violent and controversial, even among some veteran prank-callers, and their usage has crossed the margin of legality on more than one occasion.

Quotes[edit]

  • "Hey, it's Rick."
  • "Hey, fuck you, motherfucker! I didn't call your fuckin' house!"
  • "I didn't call ya, you motherfucker! Get your fuckin' figures straight, you asshole motherfucker. Don't cuss me, you cocksucker; I'll kill ya!"
  • "Why don't you put your "Unavailable" off, and I'll kick your fuckin' ass?"
  • "Now we got some bitch on here, cursin' us out!"
  • "Hey, fuck you, you cunt!"
  • "Hey, eat me, you cocksucker."
  • "I didn't call your house. I've been sittin' here on the fuckin'... TV and computer, and all of a sudden, you call here, "Unavailable", with your... number blocked... tellin' me I called your house for the last ten minutes, three times, cursin' me out. Nobody has called your house from this number!"
  • "Nobody called you, you drunk old fuckin' Hoosier! Nobody is bothering you!"
  • “I am being a gentleman, Frank.”[See note 1 below]
    • "I could could come down there, with my fuckin' AR-15, and shoot your fuckin' old Hoosier ass, right there in Independence, Missouri! NOW, CALL HERE AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKER, AND THAT'S JUST WHAT I'LL FUCKIN' DO, YOU COCKSUCKER!! FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!!!” †† [See note 2 below]
  • “Go ahead, dickhead; speak your fuckin' piece!
  • "Hey, look, you dickless piece of fuckin' shit, I'm gonna ride up there to fuckin' Independence, and I'm gonna blow your fuckin' ass away! You got that, you motherfucker?!"
  • "YOU JUST CAN'T WAIT TO EAT A BULLET, CAN'T YOU, YOU FUCKING PRICK, YOU!!
    • HEY FUCK YOU, YOU NIGGER MOTHERFUCKER, YOU!!! YOUR FUCKIN' WIFE, AND FUCK YOUR FUCKIN' KIDS, YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!!!" [See note 3 below].
  • "SHUT YOUR FUCKIN' HOLE, YOU HOOSIER! I DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO TALK, YOU MOTHERFUCKER; STUTTERING LITTLE PRICK!!"
  • "No?! YOU SAY 'NO' TO MY AR-15, YOU FUCKIN' PRICK! YOU AIN'T GONNA ABLE TO SAY 'NO' TO ME WHEN I GET TO YOUR HOUSE, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!"
  • "When I get up to fuckin' Independence- Wha, wh- what's actually called Sugar Creek, fuckin' Missouri, I'm gonna blow you away like lint, you bad habit, fuckin' piece of fuckin' garbage.
    • "Go smoke another carton of Marlboros, motherfucker!" ††
  • "Go smoke another Marlboro, you mother…FUCKER!" [extra emphasis placed on final two syllables of quote]
  • "You ever had your fuckin' ass kicked by a 40-year-old, you motherfucker?!"
  • "11216 Burton Street in Independence Missouri, 64054" [See note 4 below]
  • "Mister Frank Garrett"
  • "You're going to jail, 'Frank Garrett,' or whatever your fuckin' name on the end of this line is!"
  • "You like to play games, Frank?! You like to play games, Frank... Garrett... or whatever your fuckin' name is?! I looked up to your fuckin' house, you jackoff!"
  • "YOU'RE FOUR HOURS AND TWELVE MINUTES AWAY, AND I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!"
  • "Is that all you can say, Frank? You got nothing else to say, but 'You stupid cocksucker?' Is that all you can fuckin'... keep repeating and saying?!"
  • "Is that your whole vocabulary, or are you giving away your mom and dad's names?"
  • “Is that what you want me to do, Frank?”
    • “Are you a faggot?"'”††
  • "You son of a bitch, don't have no fucking job tomorrow 'cause you voted for that nigger, Obama? Is that your fuckin' problem, Frank, making bad decisions all your fuckin' life, like CALLING me up this much?!? THAT'S THE WORST FUCKIN' DECISION YOU EVER MADE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, YOU, you got it? Keep it up, motherfucker! Just keep it fucking up!!!! [See note 5 below]
  • "Stick your dick in your own fuckin' ass! Say something fuckin'... without stuttering, you fuckin' prick, C'MON!!"
  • "Go fuck your momma, you son of a bitch! EAT HER FUCKIN' ASSHOLE OUT, you cocksucker!"
  • C'mon, Frank, say something, you son of a bitch!! SPEAK UP, MOTHERFUCKER!!! CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE, YOU BASTARD?!?!?!"
  • "Go to bed, you stupid. Hoosier. Mother. Fucker." (Each word, beginning with "stupid" pronounced like a separate sentence, akin to Al Pacino's "Six. Thousand. Dollars.")
  • "Why you KEEP IT UP? Why do you keep CALLING ME and waking me up when I gotta go to work, you fuckin' prick?!" (Spoken in a highly irate and demanding-to-know tone)
  • [chuckling] "He don't know how old he is."
  • "You know? Yeah, you do know, motherfucker. I'm on the road, and I'm about a half hour away from your dumb ass!"
  • "You got nothing to live for, because every day, when you wake up and look in the fuckin' mirror, and see that toothless, Deliverance, Hoosier motherfucker staring back at you, you've got... no reason to live;
    • [continuing the sentence] and I'm gonna fuckin' shoot your FUCKIN' brains out, you prick!"
  • "Why don't you put that whore on the phone again, to cuss out my wife, you son of a bitch?!"
  • "What, you want a shootout with the cops? Are you suicidal?"
  • "HEY, FUCK YOU, YOU HOOSIER! GO LISTEN TO YOUR FUCKIN'... GARTH BROOKS RECORDS, AND DRINK ANOTHER BUDWEISER, YOU PIECE OF FUCKING GARBAGE!!!"
  • "You understand what I'm saying?"
  • "You're Seventy-two??"
  • "You fuckin' spineless piece of fuckin' shit."
  • "Seventy-two-year-old!!"
  • "You got some sort of death wish, you motherfucker?!"
  • ‘No’?! ‘No’, what?! ‘No’, what, Frank? What have you got, motherfucker? What kinds of guns you got?"
  • "California?!?
    • "What the fuck are you talkin' about California?"††
  • "Think you can hide, you son of a bitch?"
  • "HEY, FUCK YOU! Hey, just fuck you! I'm doing the talking now, you motherfucker, and you're gonna listen!"
  • "I just called your house to see if that was you calling me back so many times! You have called here... a dozen times! The first time, you said I called there, three times... in the last ten minutes at your house. And I have NEVER called your house. Phone records will show... you started... all this conversation, by calling.
  • "Yeah, 'no', don't tell me 'no', you motherfucker! You're... going... to... JAIL!
  • "Cos', once You're in the the fuckin'... the fuckin' big house... They ain't gonna give you Marlboros and Bud Light every fuckin' night, you know what I'm saying? [spoken rather passively]
  • "When you go to fuckin' jail, for harassin' people, you're not gonna get any fuckin' Marlboros or any fuckin' beer. Do you get that, you stupid son of a bitch?!"
  • "I went down to the police, and they are checking my phone records to make sure I didn't call you... And, uh... They said a lot of times that people will get calls from... Salesmen, bill collectors, and they block out their number by putting in another number."
    • “I never called you tonight, until you started this bullshit, you fuckin' Hoosier, you. I am going to have you a-fuckin-rested, do you get that?!”††
  • "I'M GONNA GET YOU, AND I'M GONNA GET THAT NIGGER LOVIN' WHORE WIFE OF YOURS, TOO, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"
  • “HOW DID I KNOW IT WAS YOU?”
    • I GOT YOUR FUCKIN' NAAAME AND YOUR AADDRESS! I GOT YOUR ZIP CODE, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!" † [See Notes 1, 7 below]
  • Your name's on my Caller ID, you dumbass!"
  • "We got your fuckin' phone numbers, and it's being traced!"
  • "Boy, are you a fuckin' piece of work, you motherfucker! I'm gonna enjoy pressing charges on your ass."
  • "I'm gonna press charges on your ass, if I don't end up shooting you, you piece of fucking shit!"
  • "The sooner you fucking die, the better off the world will be!"
    • "You son of a bitch, you!" †††
  • "Why do you keep calling me– I don't have your fucking phone number... y-your wife says it's the wrong number– I know where you live, you motherfucker! You can't hide off the caller ID, you stupid prick'.
  • "I'm not hiding behind the telephone! I'm gonna drive to fuckin' KILL you!"
  • "Why am I so stupid– you're the one wasting your fuckin' time getting arrested, you motherfucker, you."
  • "YOU MOTHERFUCKER, YOU TOLD ME YOUR FUCKING NAME WHEN YOU WERE DRUNK, YOU DUMBASS!"
  • "Uh... You need to lose my number, you don't need to be calling here no more..."
  • "Hey, look here, you motherfucker...”
    • [Continuing the quote] “I got your WHOLE fuckin' spiel down. I've got your background check – fuck what you owe on your fuckin' shit; I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU NOW, MOTHERFUCKER!”††
  • "You told me your name last night!"
  • "You're gonna meet me here soon: I'm coming from Kansas City, and I'm gonna fuckin' kill ya, you got it?"
  • "What are you gonna do, Frank, when the police come to your fuckin' house, and rip you a new a-asshole?"
  • "I got your fuckin' address, and I will be talking–calling you, a-a fuckin'... here in a few hours."

Notes[edit]

  • Note 1: This symbol indicates the first portion of the quote, separated from the sub-quote, is generally not included on any soundboard.
  • Note 2: Although the entire rant itself slowly becomes more irate, the final sentence uses larger text to illustrate Rick screaming “FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!!” quite furiously and deafeningly loud.
  • Note 3: This symbol indicates that while technically one, large quote, on soundboards, this quote and the more famous sub-quote are generally split into two separate audio clips, and treated somewhat accordingly as such on this page.
  • Note 4: On soundboard websites with a greater attention to privacy (e.g., Realm of Darkness), portions of the address will be spliced and distorted, or separated into different clips.
  • Note 5: For unknown reasons (most likely gender neutrality, allowing the clip to apply to anyone), the words "son of a bitch" are omitted from this quote in soundboards
  • Note 6: In this case, the symbol indicates that the latter portion of the quote is omitted on soundboards, while the main portion is often one of Rick's most recognizable lines.
  • Note 7: Besides the initial question generally not being included in soundboards, Rick strangely and angrily extended certain vowels sounds, and almost randomly emphasized other words. In particular, here, he draws out the vowel sounds made by the respective "A's" in "name" and (to a lesser degree) "address."