Pissed-Off Canadian

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Pissed-Off Canadian
Pissed off Canadian.png
Traditional depiction of the Pissed-Off Canadian


Prank Call Victim

Real name

Frank Garrett


Financial and Business Consultant


Saskatchewan, Canada


early to-mid 40s







The Pissed-Off Canadian (real name Frank Garrett, not to be confused with Frank 'Duncan' Garrett of Stilwell, Oklahoma, with whom he shares a name) is a resident of Saskatchewan, Canada who was a victim of a call using a Duncan soundboard...

He quickly became quite irate, making numerous death threats (mainly involving "squeezing Duncan's chicken neck) and variously referred to Duncan as a 'queer boy' and a chicken, going so far in the latter as to cluck like a chicken himself numerous times. He also threatened to call the police and SaskTel on the prank calls to get the caller arrested/the phone line disconnected, and wanted to meet Duncan at 2 O'Clock the following afternoon on the "corner of 14th and Smith", which according to googling, is quite close to the Pissed-Off-Canadian's own place of employment.


The real Pissed-Off Canadian
  • "Hello, Frank Garrett speaking."
  • "H- [*Cut off by Duncan*] What...?"
  • "I'm s-... Hello...?"
  • "I can't here ya, what are you saying?"
  • "Look buddy, if I ever get a hold of your little scrawny neck, I'm gonna choke it until you can't breathe anymore..."
  • "... So you call me once more, you little shit, and I'm gonna come after you really hard. You understand where I'm coming from?"
  • "'Cause you think you're pretty ... you think you're hiding behind that phone? I'm gonna tell you, there's ways to find out who you are, and then I'm gonna have... I've got some people out there, who'd just love to cut... just, choke that little chicken neck of yours..."
  • "... until you can't breathe anymore. So you'd better just watch who you're calling there, Fucko, or I'll be coming after you like white on rice."
  • "So you just have yourself a good night there, boy-boy..."
  • "You call me again, and I'm gonna make sure I'm gonna get a hold of you!
  • "And I'll tell you, old man, you'll wish to hell... You're gonna meet hell, and you're gonna be kissing the ... kissing the ... kissing the neck of the Devil."
  • "So just keep it up, boy! Keep it up, and I'll fix you!"
  • "You'll wish to hell you never even knew my [unclear]. You call me again there, fucko, [Duncan interrupting: What you want to find out I don't much want to talk to you, motherfucker!] and I'll see what we can do to you... I've got your phone number now, and I've got it traced, and I'm gonna get you!"
  • "You got it?!"
  • "So you... OH YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT?!... oh, well, enjoy life while that short life you've got left there, chicken boy."
  • "(Interrupting) 'Cause any time you wanna come to see me, you come over here, and we'll have a little chit-chat, ok?"
  • "I'll dance all over your face, you ugly ... creep!"
  • "So you find somebody else to bug, you ugly ... creep!"
  • "You understand this up, boy. Keep it up, keep it up!"
  • "And I'm gonna come on you like white-on-rice. Do you understand where I'm coming from? You're nothing! You're just some kind of a weirdo!"
  • "Come on, make my day. I'll tell you what: You come on down tomorrow afternoon. [Duncan: Ok!] You come down to the corner of 14th and Smith. Show that little lily-white face of yours, and I'll show you what I'll do to it. Ok? How 'bout that?"
  • "(Interrupting) Let's make a date tomorrow. 2 O'clock tomorrow, on the corner of 14th and Smith. You ready for that?"
  • "Are you ready for it there, big boy?"
  • "'Cause I'm gonna walk all over your face. Do you understand where I'm coming from?"
  • "(Interrupting) 'Cause little shits like you don't deserve... They just deserve to be STAMPED OUT!"
  • "So why don't you just go jerk off somewhere and ... and stay out of other people's lives...?"
  • "Do you understand where I'm comin' from? 'Cause I'm calling SaskTel tomorrow, and we're gonna get your phone disconnected, and then I'm gonna come get your name, and I'm gonna come looking for you!"
  • "No, you don't?! Well, then you don't have any value of life, do you, boy?!"
  • "... are ya?! Do ya, little boy?! You're just a little slime, hiding behind the phone; what kind of a man are ya?"
  • "Are you a queer? You gotta be a queer or a steer, and you don't sound like a steer to me, so you must be a queer!"
  • "Do you get your rocks... do you get your rocks off talking to people like this? Swearing at people? Is that what you get off doing?"
  • "What kind of a slimebag are you really? [Duncan: I don't know.] Who else do you call? Call people that just hang up...?"
  • "Who are you?! What's your name?! Give me your name there, slimebag."
  • "Or is that what you are: slimebag queer?"
  • "What are you?!"
  • "What are you, queer man?"
  • "Are you a queer? Do you get your rocks off talking to other men...?"
  • "Is that what they do for... for excitement? You must be a queer!"
  • "What does it feel like to be a queer? So you like being a queer, huh?"

Prank Calls[edit]

Date Title Caller Victim Notes Ref.
March 2009 Duncan Calls a Pissed-Off Canadian Part 1 Fortunecookiesucks Pissed-Off Canadian Original call. Deleted due to account being shut down [1]
March 2009 Duncan Calls a Pissed-Off Canadian Part 2 Fortunecookiesucks Pissed-Off Canadian Deleted due to account being shut down [2]
March 24, 2009 The Pissed Off Canadian Calls a Confused Geek Fortunecookiesucks Male victim [3]
September 28, 2009 The Pissed of Candian calls the A-Z Pawn Shop elelisrael Charles [4]


External links[edit]