Number One Cunt
|Number One Cunt|
Traditional depiction of the Number One Cunt
Prank call victim, victim soundboard
Late 40s - Early 50s
Number One Cunt was first called by SEECO1000 where she was woken up at 4 A.M. with a soundboard of The Prosecutor. Shortly thereafter, she called back and was greeted with a soundboard of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
At the time of the original calls, Seeco was using Hooch Pandersnatch's Skype account. Approximately 6 hours later, Pandersnatch logged on to Skype unaware of anything that had taken place during the night before. Within minutes of him logging on, he was greeted with a barrage of profanity and threat filled phone calls from Number One Cunt that went on for over two hours. During that time, Hooch answered her calls with soundboards of Satanic Racist, Canadian Teens, Colossal Racist Bitch, Yankee Tough Guy, and Rick The Mullet Man. After repeated threats by Rick to get the police involved, she was later called back by Officer Hart. Undeterred by the prospect of law enforcement responding to her calls, her threats continued. Eventually, Officer Hart decides to put his "boss" on the phone, who is revealed to be none other than Springfield Pervert. The conversation then shifts from threats to graphic descriptions of various sex acts.
Eventually, she was also called with soundboards of The Sex Beast and Dave's Diner Dame. The calls from The Sex Beast resulted in a large amount of extremely sexual dialogue; including one brief call where it appears that she is actually performing fellatio on somebody before hanging up. During one call, she also discloses that she is 5'9" tall and weighs 462 pounds. During the calls from the Diner Dame, Number One Cunt states her belief that the phone calls are coming from an unnamed woman whom she is currently having a romantic dispute with over a man named Jason.
- "Your worst nightmare has begin. Your life will never be the same now."
- "You dialed my god damn number you stupid fuck, you've started war now."
- "The biggest bitch you'll ever meet. The biggest cunt you'll ever meet. You have fucked up, you stupid fuck."
- "I got nothing but time, nothing but time on my hands to sit here and dial you a million motherfuckin' times and I hope you answer it every fuckin' time."
- "T-R-O-U-B-L-E, 'member it, 'member it, 'cause it's coming from me!"
- "Suck a nigger dick, bitch!"
- "Yeah fuck you, you wish you had a dick where you could fuck me, I'm the best fuck there ever was!"
- "You know what a fuckboy is? I know what a fuckboy is- that's a boy that's in prison and goes to prison and gets their butt fucked about every day! Suck another nigger dick bitch!"
- "My pussy is fuckin' wet as fuck, I wish I could send you a picture. Give me that number and I'll send you a picture of this big fat wet ass pussy."
- "Would you like a dick suckin'?"
- "I love sucking dick, I am the best dick sucker there are. I love it, love it, love it."
- "Eight inches is all you got? I'll take two of them! One of in my pussy and one in my ass!"
- "You're interrupting me sucking my man's dick on the way home, so please do not call me back again."
- "You know my fuckin' name! It's CUNT. C-U-N-T. Cunt. Number one cunt. The only cunt. Big cunt, little cunt, fat cunt. What's your name?"
- "I'm 5 foot 9 and I weigh 460."
- "Yes I'll have sex with you! And your buddy, and your friend, and your neighbor..."
- "I don't fuckin' call you, I ain't dialed your number, igmo!"
- "I want to break your fuckin' fingers. I want to poke your eyeball out. I want to jerk your ears slap off the side of your head. I want to pull your hair so bad that I pull bald spots in it. You hear me? Call me again, bitch."
|August 7, 2018||Introducing... Number One Cunt||Hooch Pandersnatch||Number One Cunt||Debut, does not include original call by Seeco.|||
|August 15, 2018||Sex Beast and Diner Dame Take On The Number One Cunt||Hooch Pandersnatch||Number One Cunt|||
|August 17, 2018||Crook VS. (No. 1) Cunt||BBE||Number One Cunt|||
|August 18, 2018||New Jersey Jerk Jamboree||BBE||Number One Cunt, California Crook, various|||
|August 22, 2018||Pruane Loves Number One Cunt||Hooch Pandersnatch||Number One Cunt|||
|October 5, 2018||Number One Cunt Makes Her First Calls||Hooch Pandersnatch||Drunk Al, California Crook, Number One Cunt, various||Soundboard debut.|||
|October 8, 2018||Lilly: The Dormitory Slut||Hooch Pandersnatch, BBE||Dormitory Slut|||
|October 21, 2018||Number One Cunt Calls Another Old Friend||Hooch Pandersnatch||Male victim|||
|October 21, 2018||Car Salesman Chronicles||Hooch Pandersnatch||Male victim|||