Hillbilly Mechanics

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Hillbilly Mechanics
Hillbilly Mechanics.png
FuckinBirmingham's Depiction of the Hillbilly Mechanics


Prank Call Victim




Damascus, Virginia


mid to-late 40s





The Hillbilly Mechanics (Sam, his wife Laura, and their nephew Eric) are three prank call victims who were discovered by Quitspazzin in September 2012. They were first called by Birmingham Redneck who did not take kindly to being told to come to Alabama.[1] A follow-up call by Wife Beater, Joey down in Anderson, Deputy Sling Blade, and Springfield Pervert revealed the Hillbilly Mechanic's Wife.[2]

A soundboard was created by Firstcomingg less than a week later and used it to make a 1:00 AM call to the Idiot Trucker. The Hillbilly Mechanics were called again by Rick the Mullet Man in October 2012.[3][4]



  • "Hey."
  • "Yes."
  • "Huh?"
  • "What?!"
  • "Do what?"
  • "I ain't no BITCH, buddy."
  • "Well I told you I ain't no damn bitch."
  • "I SAID I ain't no damn bitch."
  • "Yeah, are you drunk? You screwed up? Somebody messin' with ya' old lady?"
  • "Yeah, I'll fuck your mother. Bring her on up."
  • "Well you ain't no damn beter."
  • "Fuckin' ... god-damn ... queer!"
  • "I ain't called nobody's damn number."
  • "I don't want a DAMN thing. I told you, I ain't called ya'! "
  • "I ain't called no number."
  • "You're crazy. You're crazier than hell, you know it?"
  • "You ain't got a lick of sense."
  • "I'm from Ferginia. Where you from?"
  • "Hold on just a minute. Hold on a minute."
  • "You're that damn Alabama guy, ain't ya?"
  • "You're the one from Alabama, ain't ya'?"
  • "I ain't runnin' my mouth to nobody, buddy."
  • "I didn't hear ya' motherfucker. What'd you say?"
  • "You go to hell you son-of-a-bitch."
  • "Go to hell and don't call back."


  • "I don't know what yer problem is but we are gonna get to the bottom of it real fast, quick, and in a goddamn hurry!"
  • "You gonna whip a woman, you big bad mean ass son of a gun?"
  • "What the hell is that supposda' mean?" [When told by Deputy Slingblade that he "ain't no woman"]
  • "Well I'll tell you one thing: I'm a crackshot and I'll blow a hole in your damned ass big enough to walk through"
  • "Let me tell you something you ole piece of shit"
  • "You calling air number and calling my husband and my nephew everything under the sun and in the book"
  • "Let me tell you something you're goddamned right I'm a bitch"
  • "Are we square on that?"
  • "I'm recording everything this man is saying everytime he is saying it and he is the one making the phone calls because it is on the caller id"
  • "Are you drunk?"
  • "Air number is a business number and it is not, we can not dial long distance on air telephone number"
  • "We can't dial long distance from this number dumbass"


  • "Hello?"
  • "What? I don't even know what you're talkin' about."
  • "Wh-who are you man? What's the deal?"
  • "Like I said, there's no reason for you to be callin' this number. This is a place of business."
  • "Where you LIVE AT man?"
  • "Hey man, this is Virginia. There ain't no fuckin' body that you're talkin' to that knows you man."
  • "Alabama? I don't even use the phone here man."
  • "(laughs) You want me to come to Alabama, huh?"
  • "Man, you got your shit messed up there dude. You don't even know who the fuck you're talkin' to."
  • "You know, you're way the FUCK outta the world man."
  • "Fuckin' LISTEN buddy. This must be a mistake or somethin'."
  • "You call back again you son-on-a-bitch they'll be the god-damned law waitin' on you!"
  • "Yeah, I am- Hey! Suck my dick you motherfucker!! How about that?!"
  • "Come on to Virginia and I'll kick your godamn fucking ass, you fucking pussy!"
  • "Did you hear me boy?"
  • "Hey, listen man. I haven't talked to you and I NEVER HAVE fuckin' talked to you."
  • "Hey man, we're just gonna' call the law. This is a place of business here man. I don't know what the fuck is .. is somebody fuckin' your old lady or somethin'? I mean what- we're gonna have to do that 'cause this is a, this is a personal, this is a business number and you can't do this man so you- (Sam: You can't even call in and out on it.) We got your damn number there man. We're goin', we're goin' to call the law. This is fucked up. What's your reason to be callin'?"
  • "If, if it ain't stopped .. we'll fuckin' .. man the law WILL be called. That's the only thing we CAN do. We ain't got time to run in here, and fuckin' hear your shit, an' then run back out there and work."
  • "(repeating Birmingham Redneck) Down there, down there, down there! Ok, I'll be down there in 20 god-damn minutes. If you ain't fuckin' down here, I'll come find you fast and burn your ass out!"
  • "This is a god-damned business number. This is a god-damn .. business . This ain't no fuckin' bullshit! I don't know where the fuck your coming off runnin' your mouth on me!"
  • "There ain't nobody called your god-damn place in Alabama! Nobody gives a FUCK about Alabama or your god-damn ass either. You stupid fuck."

Prank Calls[edit]

Date Title Caller Victim Notes Ref.
September 11, 2012 Birmingham Redneck pisses off some hillbilly mechanics Quitspazzin Hillbilly Mechanics Original call. [1]
September 12, 2012 Attack of the Hillbilly Mechanics Quitspazzin Hillbilly Mechanics [2]
September 21, 2012 The Hillbilly Mechanics Call The Idiot Trucker And He's Drunk! Firstcomingg Idiot Trucker [5]
October 21, 2012 The Hillbilly Mechanics work on a Jesus nut Quitspazzin Male victim [6]
October 28, 2012 Rick calls the Hillbilly Mechanics MrPrankGarrett Hillbilly Mechanics [3]
October 28, 2012 Rick calls the Hillbilly Mechanics again MrPrankGarrett Hillbilly Mechanics [4]


External links[edit]