East Texas Hillbilly

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East Texas Hillbilly
Traditional depiction of the East Texas Hillbilly


Prank Call Victim


Retired, possibly works on an oil rig


Mount Pleasant, Texas


c. 1945 (age 73–74)



The East Texas Hillbilly (real name: Josh Lumpkin), is a prank call victim, discovered by CommandoRunningMan in December, 2012. A short-tempered, elderly man residing in East Texas, he quickly lost patience during his first call with Redneck Roofer. The East Texas Hillbilly apparently was watching his 8-year-old grandaughter (who could be heard joining in with her grandfather at the end of the call).[1] He has been subsequently called with Stilwell Grandma,[2] John Wayne,[3] Arnold Schwarzenegger,[4] and Duncan.

In the Frank Garrett call, CommandoRunningMan led the victim to believe he was talking to an acquaintance, named Steve, threatening to "slap [him] in the face with my pecker" the next time he saw Steve on the rig.[5]

XxVideoPersonxX also briefly called the victim with Cock Inspector and Respected Gentleman, he seemed to be aware of soundboards in these calls.[6][7]

The East Texas Hillbilly utilises a number of tactics to dissuade the caller from contacting him again. In one early call, he screams abuse as loudly as possible, while at another point he calmly and quietly talks about taking another person's life, and makes violent threats about what he will do to the caller if he catches them. He once threatened to tie the caller to the back of his truck, and has also stated that he will make an ashtray from the caller's jawbone should he encounter them.

Threats of sexual violence are always prominent regardless of his mood at the time of the call; he once threatens to 'horse fuck' the caller.

The calls to the East Texas Hillbilly rank as some of the longest in the history of the medium. He will not simply hang up the phone, and often he will listen, or cuss at the caller, even with the knowledge that he is being pranked and/or recorded. In one notable call, the East Texas Hillbilly went into a session of sexual-innuendo with the Springfield Pervert for nearly fifteen minutes, although that may have been because the East Texas Hillbilly is perverted himself. In one call, he tells Arnold's Escort that before he has anal sex with her, he would like her to "eat a can of creamed corn." He later tells her that she can "shit [his] dick out."

A recent call made by OsibePranks17, PranksAreUs83 and TheSBAddict on March 2, 2014, reveals the East Texas Hillbilly is aware of prank-callers MistahBlonde, XxVideoPersonxX and Wilford Brimley (prank caller). The following day, Pranktz, Harassment CALLER and PranksAreUs84 discovered he had disconnected his phone-number, though there is a possibility that OsibePranks may have his new phone-number, since he kept daring the pranksters to dial a bleeped number.

OsibePranks17 gave the bleeped number to PranksAreUs83, Harassment CALLER, Pranktz, DaeHkiD, and JPranker98. The number was called (but un-recorded) and it appears that the number does not belong to the East Texas Hillbilly. It is speculated that it is the number of a friend or possible police officer/detective, as the person answering mentioned all the prank callers he knew, and denied all questions regarding Josh.


  • "My daughter's here she's 8, she didn't make no prank calls."
  • "I bet I can flip ya' and dick ya' before you can throw me and blow me!"
  • "You got a warrant out for your arrest for illegal dick suckin' ... in a parking lot? Huh?!"
  • I fuckin like to shoot niggers, motherfucker. If there was a nigger that got shot in Texarkana on a weekend more than likely it was me back in the sixties.
  • "I'm 67-years-old! I'm a KOREAN veteran!!"
  • "I killed ... slopes!"
  • "I .. I'm a veteran. I didn't watch my buddies die face down in the mud to listen to people like YEW."
  • "Gimme that phone! Get off of it. It's a .. this is an adult conversation." (to his granddaughter attempting listen in on the call)
  • "You quit that language, QUIT IT!"
  • "Do you know why birds fly upside down in Oklahoma? 'Cause it ain't worth shitting on!"
  • "I'm a doctor of fucking insanity and meanness."
  • "I got somethin' for ya'."
  • "I've been fightin' the government for over a year."
  • "Why don't you come on over and git it?"
  • "Why don't you suck a fart outta my ass!"
  • "To HELL with ya!!"
  • "Sounds like you've been in a rut Fred, and when you stay in a rut long enough that rut turns into a GODDAMN GRAVE!"
  • "I know, you are absolute proof that babies can be conceived from anal sex."
  • "I'm a roughneck motherfucker. Only a roughneck can whoop another roughneck's ass.
  • "Hell yeah. White Christmas. WHITE POWER!!! White Power!"
  • "I'm a member of the totally zoned-out, fucked-up, motorcycle brotherhood."
  • "I used to do repos for the Bandidos!"
  • "You ever killed anyone, motherfucker?"
  • "I live in a house, motherfucker, I bet you live in a trailer!"
  • "Hi, Fred. Fuck you, Fred."
  • "I don't call the law, motherfucker. I settle my problems!"
  • "You're so stupid I bet you sit on the TV and watch the couch!"
  • "I ain't no law caller! I don't talk to the Police, I don't got nothin' to do with 'em!
  • "Niggers commit more crimes than humans."
  • "I'm the only white motherfucker who can walk into the eighth ward of Houston, Texas."
  • "If I drink a fifth of whiskey I'll fight any motherfucker around!"
  • "You Trayvon Martin worshipping motherfucker!"
  • "I'll shoot a motherfucker fast, quick and in a hurry!"
  • "How about I put a pistol to your head and say live or fuckin' die!"
  • "I'll hold you down and inject you with motor oil! How'd you like to die that way, motherfucker?"
  • "I'll shoot you then drag you behind my fuckin' truck, just like they did in Jasper. Then go have me a bowl of Cheerios!"
  • "When I was 13 and found out what pussy and gasoline was, I hit the road."
  • "You won't shit right for a week, god damn it!"
  • "You oughta look into Jackson Smith, he'd love to hear from your ass. He got a cemetery in Louisiana. Good buddy of mine. I sold him a Tec 9 not long ago. I wouldn't be fucking with me, Fred."
  • "I got a pair of Tony Lamas that would stomp a mudhole in your ass."
  • "I was fucking that bitch the other night so hard, I came and it came out of her left nostril!"
  • "Y'all got a queen over there, don'tcha. Well we got a nigger for prHesident."
  • "I shoot pool with an Englishman and he's a queer motherfucker too. Gets on my nerves."
  • "I just like using old fashioned words...nigger."
  • "I don't go outside the Mason Dixon Line, motherfucker."
  • "You fuck with me, you'll have 30 bandidos on your fuckin' ass. You hear me? You'll have 30 fuckin' bandidos on your goddamn ass. And not just that, they'll take care of your family, your kids... you'll all just disapper!"
  • "I believe if they locked you and me up in the same cell, I'd be the only one leaving that motherfucker."
  • "Ha! I'm Earl Wayne motherfucker, that's all you need to know!"
  • "I bet your old lady looks like a boogerwolf."
  • "I'll burn your fuckin' house down."
  • "You know a hog will eat a body up quick, fast and in a hurry?"
  • "Y'all a bunch of California faggots!"
  • "I'll have a dead faggot on my hands, and a dead bondsman on my other hand, and I'll just load ya up onto the back of my truck, take you down the wide-open bottom and let the hogs have you."
  • "Be a man, join the Klan! BE A MAN, JOIN THE KLAN!"
  • "I could end your life and then go eat an Egg McMuffin and not even care."
  • "I could whip your ass eating a taco and standing on my dick."


"If you wanna shit with ease,
put your elbows on your knees.
Then give yourself a gentle squeeze,
and out it comes like rotten cheese."
"Ever since I met my daughter,
I've had trouble with my water.
Hurts like hell everytime I take a piss.
And it's plain to see,
she gave me a case of that ol' VD.
I'd be damned if I ever fuck that bitch...again!"
Nigger in a woodpile. Run nigger, run.
Kiss my lantern, kiss my gun.
"Catshit, ratshit, dirty old twat.
Sixty-nine douchebags tied in a knot.
Cock-suck, mother-fuck, dick-lick too.
I'm a fucking biker, who the fuck are you?
I was born on a mountain, raised in a cave,
a bike'n and a fuck'n is all I crave."
"Me, your mother and a dirty whore,
floatin' down a river on a shithouse door.
I'm gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg.
I'm gonna tie my pecker to my LEGGGG!!!!"'

Prank Calls[edit]

Date Title Caller Victim Notes Ref.
December 22, 2012 Redneck Roofer calls an East Texas Hillbilly CommandoRunningMan East Texas Hillbilly Original call. [1]
December 22, 2012 Stilwell Grandma calls the East Texas Hillbilly CommandoRunningMan East Texas Hillbilly [2]
December 22, 2012 John Wayne calls the East Texas Hillbilly CommandoRunningMan East Texas Hillbilly [3]
December 22, 2012 Arnold calls the East Texas Hillbilly CommandoRunningMan East Texas Hillbilly [4]
December 22, 2012 Duncan calls the East Texas Hillbilly CommandoRunningMan East Texas Hillbilly [5]
April 30, 2013 East Texas Hillbilly SyntheticPranks East Texas Hillbilly [6]
May 8, 2013 Respected Gentleman calls East Texas Hillbilly SyntheticPranks East Texas Hillbilly [7][8]
June 29, 2013 East Texas Hillbilly 2 SyntheticPranks East Texas Hillbilly The prankster used his real voice to talk to the victim. [9]
August 15, 2013 Officer Powell calls East Texas Hillbilly SyntheticPranks East Texas Hillbilly [10]
August 23, 2013 Original call to Douchey Magooche Wilford Brimley Douchey Magooche Originally broadcast on Wilford Brimley LIVE 8/23. [11]
August 26, 2013 East Texas Hillbilly - Narcissism therapy SyntheticPranks East Texas Hillbilly [12]
August 29, 2013 Satanic Racist sings to East Texas Hillbilly SyntheticPranks East Texas Hillbilly [13]
September 10, 2013 How did yew select them to be yer goats? Jack Inoff East Texas Hillbilly [14]
September 12, 2013 East Texas Hillbilly is pissed off with LifeAlert™ SyntheticPranks East Texas Hillbilly
This was a conference call with LifeAlert. [15]
September 13, 2013 Bailbondsh, Springfeel, Deputy Slingblade & Mama's Boy call the East Texas Hillbilly Wilford Brimley East Texas Hillbilly Originally broadcast on Wilford Brimley LIVE 9/13. [16]
September 14, 2013 Rick the Mullet Man, Birmingham Redneck, Tennessee Bounty Hunter, Bail Bondsman and East Texas Hillbilly calls himself Wilford Brimley East Texas Hillbilly Originally broadcast on Wilford Brimley LIVE 9/14. [17]
September 19, 2013 RAGE - East Texas Hillbilly SyntheticPranks East Texas Hillbilly [18]
Feburary 1, 2014 Black Hitler And Friends Call The East Texas Hillbilly PranksAreUs84 East Texas Hillbilly [19]
Feburary 2, 2014 Superbowl 2014 Special: The Prosecutor and Drunk Guy Call a Very Drunk East Texas Hillbilly PranksAreUs84 East Texas Hillbilly This was the only call where the victim was heavily intoxicated. [20]
Feburary 12, 2014 East Texas Hillbilly 3 Way Madness OsibePranks17 East Texas Hillbilly This was a 4 way call between the prankster, the victim, Bell Cab, and a La Pizza Loca. [21]