Duncan's Rampage

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Duncan's Rampage
Telephone ringing twn.jpg

Category

Victim Prank Call

Prank Caller

Xaozzz

Soundboard(s) used

Duncan

Victim(s)

Stilwell Public Library, Albright's Gun Shop, Toilet Lady, Redneck Bitch

Length

4:40

Audio

File:Duncans rampage.ogg

Duncan is back and ready to unleash some hell! He takes his anger out on his local library among other victims.

This call marked the first use of a greatly-expanded Duncan soundboard, which included for the first time, such now-classic lines as "Hello, asshole!" and "You son of a bitch, I thought you'd died!", among the others that came from Biff Tannen calls a Construction Company. It also marked the debut of the angry Duncan face created by Xaozzz.

Transcript[edit]

Call #1

Denise: Stilwell Public Library. Denise. May I help you?
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Denise: Hello??
Duncan: You son of a bitch, I thought you'd died!
Denise: May I ask who's calling?
Duncan: Frank Garrett. You stupid motherfucker!
Denise: Mr. Frank...
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Denise: I think you've been warned about calling our public-
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch, I got you figured out. Stupid son of a bitch, you! I'm gonna get you one of these days and break your goddamn neck!
Denise: Charges are currently being charged against you and I think you need to stay off the phone until you know how to use it properly.
Duncan: Hey let me tell ya how I feel: fuck you!
[*call is transferred to another librarian*]
Duncan: They let you out of that nuthouse again, you stupid motherfucker?
Karen: I just finished writing up a report for the police.
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch.
Karen: Yeah I know, you're go-, no, you'll go to Hell a long time before I do, Frank.
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch, I got you figured out.
Karen: No, nooo, no Frank-
Duncan: They let you out of that nuthouse again, you stupid motherfucker?
Karen: You're not really listen[ing] and your family's not gonna' BUY you out of problem- trouble.
Duncan: You son of a bitch, I thought you'd died!
Karen: So get ready for it. You're gonna' sober up in jail, man.
Duncan: Oh, go to hell!
Karen: Goodbye. [*hangs up*]


Call #2

[*phone rings*]

Gun Shop employee #1: Afternoon. Albright's. May I help you?
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Gun Shop employee #1: Pardon me?
Duncan: How are you?
Gun Shop employee #1: Hello?
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch.
Gun Shop employee #1: Do what?
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, you! I'm gonna get you one of these days and break your goddamn neck!
Gun Shop employee #1: Who is this?
Duncan: This is Frank Garrett.
Gun Shop employee #1: Ok.
Duncan: You stupid motherfucker.
Gun Shop employee #1: And you're callin' Albright's Gun Shop?
Duncan: That's what I said, yeah.
Gun Shop employee #1: Who is this??
Duncan: Frank Garrett.
Gun Shop employee #1: And you're callin' Albright's Gun Shop?
Duncan: Yeah.
Gun Shop employee #1: And who you want to talk to?
Duncan: I don't give a shit. You stupid motherfucker. [pause] Son of a bitch.
Gun Shop employee #1: [in the background] Hey Tim, do you know somebody named Frank Garrett? Listen to this guy...
Gun Shop employee #2: Hello?
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Gun Shop employee #2: [starts speaking gibberish]
Duncan: Do what?
Gun Shop employee #2: [he and the other employees laugh in the background]
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, you! I'm gonna get you one of these days and break your goddamn neck!
Gun Shop employee #2: Well come on down. (laughs)
Duncan: They let you out of that nuthouse again, you stupid motherfucker?
Gun Shop employee #2: Heh-heh, yeah. Right in front of you.
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch, I got you figured out.
Gun Shop employee #2: So what do you want?
Duncan: Hey let me tell ya how I feel: fuck you!
Gun Shop employee #2: Is that right? You got a quarter? It'll cost ye'. (laughs)
Duncan: Did they turn you out of you fuckin' cage again or what??!
Gun Shop employee #2: Say what?
Duncan: Fuck you.
Gun Shop employee #2: Can you speak english?
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, I'm gettin' tired of your shit!
Gun Shop employee #2: [*hangs up*]


Call #3

[*phone rings*]
Gun Shop employee #2: Albright's Gun Shop.
Duncan: Now listen, you stupid son of a bitch, I never called you before and goddamn it, you...pick about every third day to call me, so fuck you!
Gun Shop employee #2: Say what?
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, I'm gettin' tired of your shit! Son of a bitch.
Gun Shop employee #2: Uh, hey. Uh, I want you to listen to somethin' REAL close.
Duncan: Do what?
Gun Shop employee #2: We've got your phone number, and we've filed a complaint with the telephone company, and you're liable to have the law come knockin' on your door.
Duncan: I don't give a shit.
Gun Shop employee #2: So you just...stick your finger up your nose and...goodbye.
Duncan: Fuck you.
Gun Shop employee #2: [*hangs up*]
Duncan: You stupid motherfucker.


Call #4

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: Hello.
Toilet Lady: Yes?
Duncan: How are you? [pause] Hello?
Toilet Lady: Who's on the line, who's making a mess?
Duncan: This is Frank Garrett.
Toilet Lady: Pardon?
Duncan: Frank Garrett. You stupid motherfucker.
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]


Call #5

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Toilet Lady: Who the hell is this??!!
Duncan: Did they turn you out of you fuckin' cage again or what??!
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]


Call #6

[*phone rings*]
Toilet Lady: Hello?
Duncan: Hello? [pause] You stupid cocksucker!
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]


Call #7

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: You stupid motherfucker.
Toilet Lady: Who the hell are you and what do you want?
Duncan: This is Frank Garrett. [pause] They let you out of that nuthouse again, you stupid motherfucker?
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]


Call #8

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, I'm gettin' tired of your shit!
Toilet Lady: If you wanna argue, go in the toilet and argue!
Duncan: Do what?
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]


Call #9

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: Now listen, you stupid son of a bitch, I never called you before and goddamn it, you...pick about every third day to call me, so fuck you!
Toilet Lady: I think you have the wrong number!!!
Duncan: Fuck you.
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]
Duncan: Asshole.


Call #10

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Toilet Lady's son: Frank, GO TO HELL!
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, you! I'm gonna get you one of these days and break your goddamn neck!
Toilet Lady's son: Yeah, the cops'll be at your door shortly.
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, I'm gettin' tired of your shit!
Toilet Lady's son: [*hangs up*]


Call #11 (final)

[*phone rings*]
Redneck Bitch: Hello?
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Redneck Bitch: WHO IS THIS??!
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, you! I'm gonna get you one of these days and break your goddamn neck! [pause] This is Frank Garrett.
Redneck Bitch: Well come on out, buddy.
Duncan: They let you out of that nuthouse again, you stupid motherfucker?
Redneck Bitch: I don't know who you're trying to call and get ahold of, but you've got the wrong fuckin' number. Okay?
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch. [pause] Hey, has your mama still got...uh...worms, crawlin' out her pussy?
Redneck Bitch: So if you wanna call and cuss somebody out, check and make sure you got the right damn number.
Duncan: You son of a bitch, I thought you'd died!
Redneck Bitch: [*hangs up*]

[End of call]

References[edit]