Dr. Phil

From Soundboard Prank Calls Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search
Dr. Phil McGraw
Sub image phil.jpg
Dr. Phil


Celebrity Soundboards


TV personality, author, ex-psychologist






Beverly Hills, California

Phil McGraw is an ex-psychologist who is best known for his television advice program: The Dr. Phil Show. Though once licensed in the state of Texas, he has since retired from practicing psychology. Most soundboards of him take quotes from his show, usually edited to belittle or accuse a target of having various problems, such as being a drug addict, defrauding people, or having anger issues. While used for phone pranks, his soundboards have occasionally been used for Ventrilo harassment.


  • "Are you avoiding...reality?"
  • "You are divorced, right?"
  • "You're a bitch!"
  • "Why do you have to be right? Why do you have to win the argument?"
  • "I want you to start living as a gay woman."
  • "You crazy bitch; I'm going to take you down."
  • "You've taken money from people under fraudulent circumstances across state lines."
  • "You ARE a drug addict!"
  • "You took crystal meth, Xanax, Vicodin, Oxycotin, Aderal, Klonopen,...speed."
  • "Am I here?"
  • "And I want you to start having a gay relationship,"
  • "How about after this is over we go and do a little coke?"
  • "You can just write me off and you can get mad at me. You know I'm expendable. That's okay. You don't need me."
  • "I've been for a long time a rotten little bitch."
  • "I just wanted to call and remind you, you don't matter."
  • "Don't waste my time! You jack with me and you'll be gone before you know it."
  • "We've done everything we can do. I'm totally at peace with this. I don't hate you. I don't resent you. I don't have any bad feelings or unfinished emotional business towards you."
  • "Whatever! That's a load of crap! I don't believe that's true at all!"
  • "I'm not some schmoe here. I deserve to be treated better than this."
  • "I'm a drunk pimp!"
  • "I don't know what benefit you get out of being a drunk pimp."
  • "Quit being mad at me and just love me again."
  • "You need help. You need serious, serious help."
  • "I'm a man 58 years old, full figured, divorced."
  • "You got busted with drugs and drug paraphernalia. You're doing drugs. You're high now."
  • "You're out whoring yourself on the street for drugs."
  • "Gonna have the Mexican Mafia kill you."
  • "Do you go into the store and steal groceries?"
  • "I just want to go through some of the things you've been accused of, and some of them you may agree to and some of them you may not."
  • "Why are you in Greg's businesses?"
  • "You sent harassing emails from fake accounts to Greg's cell phone."
  • "Did you inappropriately touch your daughter in the bathtub when she was 2 weeks old?"
  • "How do you feel about not being trusted by your wife?"
  • "Are you having sex?"
  • "Do you agree that you've been sexually active?"
  • "Thinking about getting a penis enlargement."
  • "What do you think about penis enlargements?"
  • "Don't waste my time!"
  • "Do you torture small animals?"
  • "You're bright eyed and bushy tailed!"
  • "What you just said, it is articulate, it is intelligent, and it is logical."
  • "Stop taking yourself so seriously. You gotta lighten up to get along in this world."
  • "Is that the truth or is that a lie?"
  • "Right now you're really playing the victim. I think you like playing the victim because it makes it easier to rebel."
  • "Tell me how you define success?"
  • "Tell me about all the skills, gifts, and abilities that you have."
  • "You can get self righteous to the cows come home."
  • "I'm talking to you about the only person in this world that you control and that's you.
  • "This is going to be a changing day in your life."
  • "Are you mad at your mom?"
  • "Do you realize this is a big deal?"
  • "Are you a stalker or something?"
  • "I didn't do anything wrong."
  • "You've taken money from people under fraudulent circumstances across state lines."
  • "You are breaking the law."
  • "Did it occur to you that you can go to jail?"
  • "We're talking about engaging in sex acts."
  • "I need sex acts with underage male students."
  • "You understand you have a real credibility problem here?"
  • "What are the things that you're most ashamed of?"
  • "Kathy are you there?"
  • "Stephanie Vincent"
  • "This is an eat what you kill world. If you don't kill something, you just don't go and eat what he killed."
  • "There's not a thing wrong with what you just said and god bless you for claiming that right."
  • "Are you gay?"
  • "I'm gay."
  • "Are you taking medication?"
  • "What gives you the right to go out impaired and get in a car where all of us drive, all of us walk our children up and down the street?"
  • "Are you stereotyping people?"
  • "You are part of the problem. You're not part of the solution."
  • "We have a report where the young man says that you touched his chest and his bum."
  • "Let's get real. If we're gonna get real let's be real."
  • "You uneducated moron."
  • "If you start that crap on me, I will walk your happy ass out of here in two seconds."
  • "You seem to me to be a very honest and straight forward individual."
  • "My mother told me don't ever ask a women how old they are, but do you mind saying how old you are?"
  • "Are you willing to stop feeling the way you feel and work your way out of this?"
  • "What are you so angry about?"
  • "Do you agree that you smoke?"
  • "Do you agree that you smoke pot?"
  • "You're gonna smoke dope and um... have a good time."
  • "I know that you are a drunk."
  • "Are you an absolute falling down non function drunk?"
  • "You and I are gonna disagree on some stuff today. I can already feel it."
  • "Do you have a problem with alcohol?"
  • "Do you realize this is a big problem?"
  • "I'm asking you how you feel about what you do."
  • "You're worthless and uninteresting."
  • "You know I didn't just come in on a load of turnips. I know that."
  • "He who yells loudest and last ain't right."
  • "I know that you're a whore!"
  • "I don't know anything!"
  • "Are you a child molester?"
  • "Does that make common sense?"
  • "Do you wanna look the best you can for your age, or are you trying to be something you're not?"
  • "You know what, nobody really cares."
  • "Tell me about the fake boobs!"
  • "So how are you doing overall?"

Soundboard media[edit]

External Links[edit]