Christian Weston Chandler
Christian Weston Chandler (born Christopher Weston Chandler, 24 February 1982 in Ruckersville, Virginia and currently going by Christine Weston Chandler) is a disgusting, quarrelsome, mean-spirited, spiteful, narcissistic, homophobic, transgender, sexist, racist, overweight, delusional, psychotic, hypocritical, semen drinking, stubborn, heretical, completely and utterly untalented, "high-functioning autistic" virgin man-child, and creator of Sonichu, a brilliant crossover of Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu - sorry, original creation - starring in his own self-titled online comic book.
Prank Call Victim and Soundboard Character
Chris has been the victim of a few a prank calls, both with and without soundboards, including at least one by Duncan. Most of the time, however, the phone at the Chandler household in Ruckersville, Virginia has, until 2011, been answered by Chris' father, the now-deceased Bob Chandler, or more rarely, his mother Babara "Snorlax" Chandler in order to protect their man-child from such harassment (with Bob's recent death, however, this may change). Sound clips from Chris's many YouTube videos (in which he has consistently made a complete fool of himself) have been compiled into a soundboard and used against many victims, including Duncan, the Jackass Plumber and Chris the Hacker. It was also used on one occasion by MistahBlonde to make an obscene prank call the local Sheriff's Department in Ruckersville. Thinking it was the real Chris prank calling them, they actually sent officers to the Chandler home to talk to him and his father about it (although it is unknown what ultimately came of it after they finally answered the door). Chris-chan's childlike, nasally voice has served to make it one of the more annoying soundboards in existence.
Chris-chan has no job and makes no efforts to get one, apparently, because his parents advised him that he can get more money by staying on welfare (ie. mooching off of taxpayers). Except for what his mother charges him for rent, he usually spends most of these payments (which he refers to as his "monthly tugboat") on video games and sex toys (including anal beads, vibrators, at least one dildo and several blow-up sex dolls).
His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic Sonichu into a hit video game franchise and his so-called "Love Quest" to obtain a "boyfriend-free, 18-[Chris' current age]-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white girl" to make into a "sweetheart from the ground-up.", which in reality, has amounted to Chris just wanting to get laid, rather than have any kind of lasting relationship. This obsessive pursuit of sex purportedly stems from a series of dreams he had while in grade school (between ages 7 to 9), telling him to find a woman, make her his sweetheart and impregnate her with his child; a daughter to be named Crystal Weston Chandler. Chris adamantly claims these childhood dreams were a prophecy from God.
In late 2007, he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade Sonichu medallion in public, his laughably childlike artwork about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in public places while literally holding up a sign (his so-called "attraction sign") asking women to talk to him and become his girlfriend. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him. Some of which includes the following:
- Chris almost never bathes and erroneously believes that he can completely mask the resulting overpowering stench of body odor by spraying himself head-to-toe with Axe body spray (which he also believes will make him irresistible to women, like in the TV commercials).
- He often defecates in his underwear (supposedly due to a medical problem) and often does not clean himself up afterwards, which only adds to the body odor problems.
- By his own admission, he routinely masturbates into a cup and catches his semen, which he then "recycles" by drinking it (sometimes after mixing it with orange Fanta soda or some other drink).
Lacking any kind of discretion, has not been shy about revealing these facts to women he is interested in, apparently thinking that somehow, they'll either feel sorry for him or be turned on by it (which, in reality, works about as well as you'd expect).
Such overwhelming stupidity and notoriety has served to literally make him the laughing stock of the internet and has even attracted the negative attention of various radio talk show programs and TV shows. Even celebrities, such as Nicole Ritchie of TV's "The Simple Life" fame have gotten into the act and poked fun at him in blog posts in the past.
As of 2011, Chris has declared himself a "tomgirl", grown his hair out and has taken to cross-dressing in public (including wearing a woman's panties and bra - possibly stolen from his mother - under his clothes). Reportedly, this was his overboard reaction to someone advising him to get more in touch with his feminine side, to better understand women.
He has also surfaced on several internet transvestite forums, using the handle "KookyDashy". To many trolls and non-trolls alike, this behavior is further evidence that Chris is quite possibly a homosexual in denial.
Not surprisingly, Chris' highly conservative parents were angered, horrified and embarrassed by their man-child son's latest pastime. His father was especially displeased and reportedly called Chris a "fag" when he found out in May 2011, while his mother stated that she "didn't raise a daughter".
More information on Chris-chan can be found here.
Criminal Charges and Civil Suit
On 28 October 2011, just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and his mother Barbara, launched a vehicular assault on the owner of the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys" (formerly known as The GAMe PLACe), Michael Snyder. Chris has a long-standing grudge against Snyder for permanently banning him from the store after a series of incidents, in which Chris (among other things) engaged in racially-motivated harassment of African-American customers and acted like a belligerent asshole in general. Snyder was hit twice with the vehicle being driven by the Chandlers; once while Chris was behind the wheel and again, when he and Barbara switched places.
Chris has repeatedly attempted to falsely claim that the whole thing was a setup by Snyder, just to get him in trouble:
Mom and I made our way to the van and entered it; Mike followed us out, and Stood right in front of the van, thinking he was Stonewall Jackson. We backed up the van some; Mike chased us. Mom took the wheel; Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.
Chris and Barbara were both arrested while attempting to flee the scene and spent the night in jail, before being bailed-out by a member of their church, Rochelle "Rocky" Shoemaker, the next day.
Charges against Chris included misdemeanor criminal trespass, misdemeanor assault and failure to stop at the scene of a vehicular incident causing over $1,000 in damages, a class 5 felony. For her part in it, Barb was charged with failure to stop at the scene of a vehicular incident causing over $1,000 in damages and assaulting a police officer, which happened after she attempted to interfere with the arrest of her son; class 5 and 6 felonies, respectively. According to Virginia state law, they could have faced "a term of imprisonment of not less than one year, nor more than 10 years, and ... a fine of not more than $2,500" for the felony charges alone, if convicted.
After several hearings, on 5 April 2012, the prosecution decided not to pursue (Nolle prosequi) the misdemeanor criminal trespass and assault charges. The pair were formally indicted by the Grand Jury for the felonies on 16 April 2012 and arraigned on 10 July.
The Chandlers were represented in court by Rob Bell, a Republican member of the Virginia House of Delegates.
On Nov. 1, 2011, Snyder, meanwhile, filed a civil lawsuit against both of them. It is currently unknown what damages he is seeking. Before the court hearing, Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.
On 5 April, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.
- 7 November 2011 - Chris and Barbara appeared in court to be formally charged.
- 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
- 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
- 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Nolle prosequi on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
- 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on the felony charges.
- 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.
On 10 July 2012, Chris-chan and his mother were arraigned simultaneously on their respective criminal charges. Michael Snyder, proving what a classy guy he is, did not want the Chandlers to be stuck with felony charges, in spite of what they did to him, so a plea bargain was agreed to.
Both Chris and Barbara grudgingly plead guilty to the charges, but stated through their lawyer that they maintained their ridiculous version of the events as accurate. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation, while Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and some long-overdue mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation, plus jail time if he does not comply.
Defiant to the end, it is interesting to note that Chris also committed the crime of slander, in open court no less, against both Michael Snyder and the presiding judge. As related by trolls who attended the arraignment, when the judge asked Chris if he understood that he had to pay Snyder's medical expenses, Chris snarled "Yes, but I don't think that thieving/bribing liar deserves a red cent!"
Luckily for Chris, the judge was apparently in a forgiving mood and chose to ignore it. Otherwise, Chris could have very easily found himself back in jail for contempt of court.
Snyder's civil suit against the Chandlers is still ongoing.
Chris has stopped making Youtube videos and has done his best over the past few years to distance himself from "the trolls," including the prank call community. Despite this, much of his personal life continues to be discovered and chronicled due to many of these people still having access to his personal Facebook.
On January 10, 2014, Chris burned down his own house while attempting to make coffee in his bathroom at 2:00 a.m., destroying virtually everything that his family owned. Since then, most of the internet has finally decided to stop bothering him.
More information on the fire can be found here.
On 26 December,2014, Chris Chan maced a Gamestop employee after trying to vandalise a Sonic Boom display. For those not in the know, Chris is a autistic man who cross dresses. He hates SANIC BUM because Sonic's arms are blue compared to the flesh tone of other Sonic releases.
More information on the fire can be found here
|N/A||Prank Call Chandler Saga Part 1 of 3||SnakeSnakeProduction||Chris-chan||Original call. Chris-chan was never called with a soundboard, however, one was eventually created from various calls to his home.
|N/A||Prank Call Chandler Saga Part 2 of 3||SnakeSnakeProduction||Bob Chandler||Lost call|||
|N/A||Prank Call Chandler Saga Part 3 of 3||SnakeSnakeProduction||Bob Chandler||Lost call|||
|N/A||Chris-chan calls Bob Chandler||Bob Chandler||Lost call|||
|N/A||Chris-chan calls Frank Garrett and Jackass Plumber||Duncan
|N/A||Chris-chan calls the Jackass Plumber||Zoltan5616||Jackass Plumber|||
|N/A||Chris-chan calls Charlottesville's Best Buy||ChrisChanPrankCalls||Best Buy||Lost call|||
|June 3, 2010||Bob Chandler and his son try to find out what's going on||TheBigBlackGuy1||Various|||
|July 6, 2010||Chris-chan calls PETA||ChrisChanPrankCalls||PETA||Lost call|||
|July 6, 2010||Chris-chan calls the Ku Klux Klan||ChrisChanPrankCalls||Ku Klux Klan|||
|July 23, 2010||Chris-chan and Bob Chandler call NRA Group||ChrisChanPrankCalls||National Rife Association||Lost call|||
|July 23, 2010||Hot Rod Jason, Chris Chan, and Mean Redneck conference call ASR||8DuncanConstruction8||Hot Rod Jason||This was a conference call.|||
|July 27, 2010||Artie's Calls to Retardo - Ft. Chris Chan||8DuncanConstruction8||Male victim|||
|August 16, 2010||Chris-chan's Phone Harassment Rampage, part 1 of 5||ChrisChanPrankCalls|||
|September 29, 2010||Chris Chan and Lunatic Redneck Call a Cab (Also Featuring Random Asshole, Dickbag, and the Yellers)||Purpledrone|||
|December 17, 2010||Chris-chan calls Some Drunk Guys & Their Friends!||AfghaNPranksteR||Male victims||Lost call|||
|December 19, 2010||"What are you on, baby?"||ChrisChanPrankCalls||Male victim|||
|December 26, 2010||Hyper Family Show E02 - Charles and Chris Chan Fooling Arround!||AfghaNPranksteR||Hyper Family||Lost call|
|February 5, 2011||I'm Still Alive||ChrisChanPrankCalls||Various|||
|February 12, 2011||Fun With the Same Autism Hotline (and a Chris Chan Soundboard)||DefinitelyNotHolic|||
|March 12, 2011||ChrisChan tries to Prank his local Police ... with tragic results||MistahBlonde||Greene County Sheriff's Department|||
|March 29, 2011||Chris Yells at People||ChrisChanPrankCalls||Various|||
|June 3, 2011||Chris-chan calls the Boston Moron||AfghaNPranksteR||Boston Moron||Lost call|||
|July 26, 2011||TOD10 Aftermath Prank Calls||1ex1uger|||
|July 30, 2011||Chris-Chan is Insecure about his Security Service||1ex1uger|||
|August 8, 2011||Things that End in "-tology"||ChrisChanPrankCalls||Church of Scientology|||
|August 11, 2011||Chris-Chan Buys Edumacation from the U. of Spam||1ex1uger|||
|August 27, 2011||Chris Chan and Bob Chandler call Lifeway||PrankVillage||Lifeway||Lost call|||
|September 26, 2011||Chris-Chan calls Restaurant.com||PrankVillage||Restaurant.com|||
|October 20, 2011||New Calls/Soundboards - Richard Christy and Fat Man||Purpledrone|||
|October 27, 2011||Someone's CWC Soundboard Prank Call: GAMe PLACe||GAMe PLACe||Call allegedly took place the day before Chris-chan's altercation with the store's owner resulting in his arrest.|||
|February 16, 2012||Hyper Girls EP03 - all nighter # 3 - Chris Chandler||AfghaNPranksteR||Hyper Girls||Lost call|
|February 18, 2012||Super Prank Call Celebration||1ex1uger||Female victim|||
|February 26, 2012||Chris Chan calls a comic store and lawyers office||FraterAeternus93||Lost call|||
|March 15, 2012||Chris-Chan calls a gym and chats about porn||FraterAeternus93||Lost call|||
|March 15, 2012||Moore Family Show EP05 - The Chandlers vs The Moores||AfghaNPranksteR||Moore Family||Lost call|
|June 8, 2012||Chris Chan calls McDonalds||TheShinyPhone||McDonalds|||
|September 5, 2012||Calls to collections Part 1: Chris Chan, Hillbilly Joker, and Satanic Racist||Nekad2000|||
|October 30, 2012||Prank Call Fiesta (Happy Halloween!)||1ex1uger||Male victim|||
- News report on Chris burning his house down on YouTube
- News article on the fire
Prank Call Chandler Saga Part 1 of 3on YouTube Prank Call Chandler Saga Part 2 of 3on YouTube Prank Call Chandler Saga Part 3 of 3on YouTube Chris-chan calls Bob Chandleron YouTube Chris-chan calls Frank Garrett and Jackass Plumberon YouTube
- Original Calls to the Jackass Plumber Part. 10 on YouTube
Chris-chan calls Charlottesville's Best Buyon YouTube
- Bob Chandler and his son try to find out what's going on on YouTube
Chris-chan calls PETAon YouTube
- Chris-chan calls the Ku Klux Klan on YouTube
Chris-chan and Bob Chandler call NRA Groupon YouTube
- Hot Rod Jason, Chris Chan, and Mean Redneck conference call ASR on YouTube
- Artie's Calls to Retardo - Ft. Chris Chan on YouTube
- Chris-chan's Phone Harassment Rampage, part 1 of 5 on YouTube
- Chris Chan and Lunatic Redneck Call a Cab (Also Featuring Random Asshole, Dickbag, and the Yellers) on YouTube
Chris-chan calls Some Drunk Guys & Their Friends!on YouTube
- "What are you on, baby?" on YouTube
- I'm Still Alive on YouTube
- Fun With the Same Autism Hotline (and a Chris Chan Soundboard) on YouTube
- Tennessee Police go after Chris, and Chris-Chan pranks his local police on MistahBlonde.com
- Chris Yells at People on YouTube
Chris Chan Calls The Boston Moron! (PRANK CALL)on YouTube
- TOD10 Aftermath Prank Calls on YouTube
- Chris-Chan is Insecure about his Security Service on YouTube
- Things that End in "-tology" on YouTube
- Chris-Chan Buys Edumacation from the U. of Spam on YouTube
Chris Chan and Bob Chandler call Lifewayon YouTube
- Chris-Chan calls Restaurant.com on YouTube
- New Calls/ Soundboards - Richard Christy and Fat Man (Read Description) on YouTube
- Someone's CWC Soundboard Prank Call: GAMe PLACe on YouTube
- Super Prank Call Celebration on YouTube
Chris Chan calls a comic store and lawyers officeon YouTube Chris-Chan calls a gym and chats about pornon YouTube
- Chris Chan calls McDonalds on YouTube
- Calls to collections Part 1: Chris Chan, Hillbilly Joker, and Satanic Racist on YouTube
- Prank Call Fiesta (Happy Halloween!) on YouTube